Celebrity Business Expedition The Movie

EddieFilms Moving Pictures Articles Presents

In Association with eddiethinks.com

Starring

Eddie - DJ Khaled - DJ Khaled's Son ASAHD - Arnold Schwarzenegger - Brad Pitt's Ex Wife - Max T - Aziz Ansari - Shia Labeouf - Horatio Thelonious Ignacious Crustaceous Sebastian - Costco

CELEBRITY BUSINESS EXPEDITION THE MOVIE ( Director's Cut )

Now in Technicolor

---

Hi, this is Celebrity Business Expedition and I'm your sexy host, Eddie. On this expedition we scour the world for business animals.

Max T - " It's like Planet Earth but not as good. "

Mojave Desert

Packed in a Volkswagen bus production bought on Craigslist, we begin our business quest in the Mojave Desert ( Sahara wasn't in the budget ).

Brad Pitt's Ex Wife -  " There's nothing here. "

Shia Labeouf - " Lets dig some holes. "

Look! Mark ( camera person ) zoom in near that cacti. There you see that folks, a wild Cash Chameleon. The Cash Chameleon can change to all different types of color to cloak itself to its surrounding which is it's true nature in and of itself - the ability to become anything. 

---

STOP! It's business lesson time. You have to be able to look at cash ( money ) as a medium and fundamental building block, kinda like an atom. Money is a limited resource and you only have so much of it at any given time.  The investor class has a good viewpoint on money, they see it can be placed here or there and see it as something without strings attached - to be moved away from things that bring less of it ( lower returns ) and moved to things that bring more of it ( higher returns ). The same can applied to business, you analyze and find the things in your business that are taking money but are not exchanging that worth fairly and move them to parts that give you a better deal for that same amount. It's finding how much money should be exchange for this object, service, person etc.

Business always is moving and you should always be changing colors ( analyzing the current setting of your business and putting more money into what is working and taking away money from what is not. Is it useful? Okay to what extent? In the real world there is compromise, you can't just cut certain things off because it might affect other aspects or easily just fire an employee when it is slow or not as profitable to you to have them on.

Producer - " Seems a bit ranty, no? "

Eddie - " It's fine, we'll just call this the directors cut. "

---

Oh boy look! There's Cash Chameleons cousin, Crypto Chameleon. The Crypto Chameleon unique ability to inflate and deflate sporadically and without notice is quite a sight to behold.

Well folks that ends our Mojave Desert segment, the Volkswagen bus is now covered in sweat and while our stars don't have service to call their agents to complain we do want to keep them as comfortable as budgetly possible.

DJ Khaled : " Another One. "

Maasai Mara National Reserve

Imma find you Credit Crocodile! Imma find you and get that credit!

Crikey! The ghost of Steve Irwin!

" Hi Steve! "

" Ello' mate. "

Over there, I see the Outlook Giraffe, munching on some forecast bushes but where is the Credit Croc? Hmm lets go search the swamps, the Credit Croc loves to feast on worthy prey.

DJ Khaled - " LION! "

Oh DJ Khaled please don't yell that. You're scaring the rest of the party.

Arnold Schwarzenegger - " I have to use the bathroom, I'll be bach. "

And I'll be Chopin! Haha ahh alright Mr. Schwarzenegger, don't take too long.

No Brad Pitt's ex wife we can't take the scrawny baby antelope with us, you can't just adopt everything you see.

We don't seem to have the credit to finance this segment any longer ( hence looking for the Credit Croc ).

Producer - We should of went to the Chinese or the Saudi's, they'll finance anything.

Hindsight's 20/20.

Producer - " Yup. "

Hmm anyways let's move on.

Shipwreck of The Titanic

Destination - The Ocean! Under the sea to be more specific

*Cue Under The Sea song*

The seaweed is always greener
In somebody else's lake
You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?
Under the sea
Under the sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under the sea
Down here all the fish is happy
As off through the waves they roll
The fish on the land ain't happy
They sad 'cause they in their bowl
But fish in the bowl is lucky
They in for a worser fate
One day when the boss get hungry
Guess who's gon' be on the plate?
Under the sea
Under the sea
Nobody beat us
Fry us and eat us
In fricassee
We what the land folks loves to cook
Under the sea we off the hook
We got no troubles
Life is the bubbles
Under the sea (Under the sea)
Under the sea (Under the sea)
Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally (Naturally)
Even the sturgeon an' the ray
They get the urge 'n' start to play
We got the spirit
You got to hear it
Under the sea
The newt play the flute
The carp play the harp
The plaice play the bass
And they soundin' sharp
The bass play the brass
The chub play the tub
The fluke is the duke of soul
(Yeah)
The ray he can play
The lings on the strings
The trout rockin' out
The blackfish she sings
The smelt and the sprat
They know where it's at
An' oh that blowfish blow
Yeah, under the sea (Under the sea)
Under the sea (Under the sea)
When the sardine
Begin the beguine
It's music to me (It's music to me)
What do they got? A lot of sand
We got a hot crustacean band
Each little clam here
Know how to jam here
Under the sea
Each little slug here
Cuttin' a rug here
Under the sea
Each little snail here
Know how to wail here
That's why it's hotter
Under the water
Ya we in luck here
Down in the muck here
Under the sea
 

Thank you Sebastian.

Sebastian - " You're welcome mon. "

We are searching for the heart of the ocean!

* Producers whispers to Eddie *

That plots been done already? By James Cameron? Did anyone ever tell him he has camera in his name - well almost. Damn we really need to work on our planning.

Well whadya know! There's the Wealth Wale! It's large and in charge! While the Wealth Wale is massive it doesn't have to be aggressive to survive, mostly just maintain and passively swim around feasting on schools of fish, very cool.

Aziz Ansari - " Treat yo self' "

Not relevant, but we'll take it.

Antarctica

I don't see any arctic ants. Why would it be named ANT arctica if there's no ants? Seems misleading.

We're still doing the movie? I thought we were all here for Costco's annual snowball bash.

You know we only go for the free samples right? Well I forgot my Costco card anyway, guess we'll go find some business animals.

Look there! A Profit Penguin. Let's catch him and put him in a net! We'd net a profit.. haha - get it, get it?

Well that's all folks, stay hopeful for a sequel! There will be more action and our budget twice as high ( which we will use to hire hotter babes ), overall it'll be worse but you'll go watch it anyway because it's familiar.

Credits

Eddie

DJ Khaled

DJ Khaled's Son ASAHD

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Brad Pitt's Ex Wife

Max T

Aziz Ansari

Shia Labeouf

Horatio Thelonious Ignacious Crustaceous Sebastian

Costco

Joey Tribbiani

 Rachel Green

Ross Geller

Monica Geller

Chandler Bing

 Phoebe Buffay

Bob Ross

Clifford The Big Red Dog

Horatio Nelson

Mr. Clean

Mr. T

Mr. Rogers