Netflix Special
Why do girls like flowers? What magical quality do they provide the female with? This and not much more is what I & my uncarefully assorted selection of guests will almost get to the bottom of.
Where?
On my podcast, that’s where!
My podcast called “ Netflix Special “.
I hope you and your favorite grandma / G Mah will adjust their hearing aids and join me.
When?
Soon, but in the meantime it’s time to go to our Q&A!
Q&A
Valued Virtual Person - Why don’t you like cats and dogs dawg?
Me - The shedding, it’s less cool than a snakes shedding but voluminously more annoying.
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Idioms - What if Netflix sues you for name stuff
Me - I’d Better Call Saul…
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Cherry - What will you name your first Chateau?
Me - Chateau de 99 cents store, while the name might come off heavy & rich, bearing a verbal weight comparable to mount Everest - you got to look past that, it’s really a bridge, a bridge between my obvious pedigree & french heritage ( french fries ) and the low price everyday savings in the form of Dr. Thunder, Ring Pops and box wine that people have come to rely on & adore.
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Girl Scout Cookies - Buy my cookies
Me - No. Why would I? If they’re so good as claimed by the masses why are you giving them up? I don’t see kids giving up Happy Meals! What I see is a plethora of child labor, a sea of decently fit kids not scouting but selling. Disguised as innocent girl scouts, this is anything but innocence. What it is, is a fallacy. A deceptive appearance to subdue rigorous & annually consistent sales tactics. A fallacy by any other name is a simile. A sale of carbohydrate’d circles by any other name than Costco is not for me and that is why I say - No.
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Winstonchurchill69 - Whats one new thing you learned this month?
Me - Well due to my discovery of Uber Eats & the dismally disappointing reality that life can be, I’ve put on some mass ( fat ). Which usually means a disparaging appearance and loss of mobility which hence gains the attraction of comments like -
“ Ugh eddie, lose some weight you fat f*** “
“ My eyes bleed when they glance your way. “
“ Every time I get near you, your ungodly mass distorts time & makes me late to my Chia Pet grooming class. “
While these comments don’t fall into the classic definition of encouragement, I don’t waver. I search to find the proper encouragement one would need. I have found the silver lining.
The Chin Pillow. Now while it might be widely recognized as a “ double chin “, I personally think that title strips away it’s utilitarian nature, de voiding it being presented in proper light.
A comparable example would be to focus on a peacocks beak while completely missing its exuberant tail. A folly, but then again the masses are fond of folly.
Let’s examine the benefits of this encouraging development -
Rest Mobility ; Nap time is now ANYTIME. Waiting at in n out to get 4 2x2’s? Take a nap. Sitting in at your friends Chia Pet grooming class? Take a nap. Writing a blog? Take a nap.
Envy; Killing two birds with one stone would be the very definition of this benefit, while the regretful students steep in mourn trying to perfect their Chia Groom, their sunken eyes will catch your restful face. What will they think when they see you, more importantly what will they want? To be you of course. To drool how you drool, to snore as you snore. While they fail, you will truly be a peacock spreading it’s tail.
While the benefits are infinite, what more do you really need besides these two?
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Thanks for reading (: